The relationship secrets in this particular article is about my personal findings about what drives guys in a relationship. You can do more research on your own. Relationship is give and receive. Both partners give and both partners receive. It is mutual. Love is the most important thing that could happen to anyone at any time. Therefore, it is good you know and understand your partner (the man) if you aspire to build a healthy and quality relationship together.
In an article published by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on “Secrets to a Successful Long-Term Relationship or Marriage“, he notes that; “relationships are about not only taking, but also giving. If you find yourself not giving very much, or feeling resentful of how much you give and how little you receive back, you may be in an unequal relationship where one side is taking more than they are giving.
In a relationship with that special guy? Here, I want to let women in on how they can understand their men and what they hold dear in their lives. Happy reading!
Relationship Secrets Guys Need their Ladies to Know
Men talk about feelings
It may be easier for your man to talk about feelings indirectly. For instance, ask him how he will do during a romantic weekend, or what he thought the first time he met you. You will be amazed how he’ll respond to your answer. Eric Redding, of Thought Catalog said: “Guys bond through activities. Women bond through communication. I have more memories about “hey remember the time we….” than times I spent talking to my best friend about out dating lives.”
Men say “I love you” with actions
Some men prefer to express their feelings through actions rather than words. Your man may say “I love you by fixing things around the house or even taking out the trash – anything that makes your world a better place”. I could your heart beat to this. Yes, men do that.
Men take commitment seriously
Generally, men have a reputation for being afraid to commit. But evidence suggests that men take marriage seriously. They may take longer to commit because they want to make sure they are on board for good. In a recent survey, 90% of the married men say they would marry the same woman again.
Men are listeners
When you are listening to someone talk, you probably indicate to the person that you are listening by nodding, gazing your eyeballs on them, or replying with a “yes” every now and then. But some men don’t do this. And just because your man isn’t saying anything doesn’t mean he’s not listening to you. Some prefer to listen quietly and think about what you’re saying so they could give a good reply to your story.
Shared activities form bonds
Men strengthen their relationship primarily through shared activities more than by sharing thoughts or feelings. For many men, activities like sports and sex make them feel closer to their partner.
Men need time for themselves
While shared activities are important, men also need time for themselves. Whether your man enjoys golf, football, or working out in a gym house, encourage him to pursue his hobbies while you make time for your own. When both partners have space to nurture their individuality, they have more to give to each other.
Men learn from their fathers
If you want to know how a man will act in a relationship, get to know his dad. Some say men learn about their relationship role by watching and listening to their fathers. How they are with each other and how the father relates to the mother can predict how a man will relate to wife.
Men let go faster than women
Women tend to remember negative experiences longer and may have lingering feelings of stress, anxiety, or sadness. In contrast, men are less likely to dwell on unpleasant events and tend to move on more quickly. So while you may still want to talk about last night’s argument, your man may have already forgotten about it.
Men don’t pick up on subtle cues
Men are more likely to miss subtle signals like tone of voice or facial expressions. They are especially likely to miss sadness on a woman’s face. If you want to make sure your man gets the message, be direct.
Men respond to appreciation
Showing appreciation for your man can make a big difference in the way he acts. Studies show that fathers are more involved in care-giving when their wives value their involvement and see them as competent.
Men think about sex a lot
This is no secret! Majority of men under age 60 think about sex at least once a day, compared with only a quarter of women. And this is not all. Men fantasize sex nearly twice as often as women do, and their fantasies are much more varied. They also think more about casual sex than women. But thinking isn’t the same as doing!
Men like it when you initiate sex
Most men feel as though they’re the ones who always initiate sex. But they also like to be pursued and wish their partner would take the lead more often. Don’t be shy about letting your man know you are in the mood. Initiating sex some of the time may lead to a higher level of satisfaction for both of you.
Men like pleasing their partner
Your pleasure is important to your man. But he won’t know what you want unless you tell him. Too many women feel uncomfortable talking about what they like and don’t like. If you can tell him clearly in a way that doesn’t bruise his ego, he’ll listen because he knows that he will feel good if you feel good.
Men may stray when needs aren’t met
If a man doesn’t feel loved enough and appreciated by her woman in the relationship, he may turn elsewhere for satisfaction and comfort. Most men will bury their self in office work; others may develop a sudden interest in sports or video games, while others will go out and cheat. To avoid this, partners need to work together to meet each other’s needs.
Men are vested in their women
Most men realize there’s a lot to lose if a long term relationship goes sour – not just each other’s company, but the entire life you’ve built together. If you’re willing to work to strengthen your relationship, chances are your man will be too.
Thank you for reading. Let’s hear from you by dropping your opinion in the comment box. Your opinion is highly valued.
I am the Founder and President of Young Leaders Arena. Formerly I was the Chief Editor and program co-ordinator at Walktall. Author of the upcoming Book; Success Recipe: Start up Tool-kit for exceptional business growth. I have written numerous articles on both leadership, business start up, entrepreneurship. I have served as thought leader in many societies and organisations, including the Forum on Extractive Industries Transparency Initiative. I obtained my post graduate from the prestigious University of Port Harcourt. I also have a Bachelors from the Delta State University, Abraka. Twitter & Instagram: @Charlessholokwu