Young Leaders Arena Top Three Secrets of Happiness
Conventional wisdom tells us that if we work hard we will be more successful, and if we are more successful, then we’ll be happy. If we can just find that great job of our dream, win that next promotion we’ve long awaited, lose those five pounds, then happiness will follow. You’ve probably heard those before right?
But recent discoveries in the field of positive psychology have shown that this formula is actually backward. Happiness fuels success, not the other way around. When we are positive, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient, productive and ready to work. This discovery has been repeatedly borne out by rigorous research in psychology and neuroscience, management studies, and the bottom lines of organizations around the globe and of course, individuals.
A story was told of a wise man who drew a line on a board and told his student to make the line shorter without touching or erasing it. How would you do it? I mean he has to shorten a line without touching it. The student then drew a much longer line underneath that line. So, the line automatically became shorter.
The lesson I think the above story is passing is that if your difficulties appear to be very big, lift your eyes and stop focusing solely on yourself. If you lift your eyes up and look at those who are in a worse condition than you, you will suddenly feel that your burden is not as bad as you thought it was. If you think you have some big problem, look at people who have a greater problem. Suddenly, you will get a confidence that my problem is much smaller, and I can manage it.
Define what makes you happy
No two human beings are the same. So why should we have one standard of happiness? Someone else’s ways of happiness might not be yours. It is better to discover and stick with that which brings you happiness.
Recognize that every decision you make and take has impact in your life and that defines your happiness rate. You must define your happiness in your own terms because if you don’t, society will do it for you—and we will always fall short. You’ll always be stuck comparing yourself and competing with other people.
Smile and Be Cheerful
There are plenty of old songs that encourage us to “put on a happy face” or “smile when your heart is breaking,” or “don’t worry, be happy.” Being able to offer a warm disposition to the people around you, regardless of your inner state, actually encourages you to physically feel better!
So when someone else is turning to you to help them deal with their problems, smiling at them will help you let go of your frustration and exhaustion and be present for them in an awesome way. Smiles are contagious, too, and being able to find the energy to offer our own smile to others, even when our inner world is falling apart, we are going to feel better when our smile is returned.
Happiness is as simple as gratitude. Psychological research has found that people who practice gratitude consistently report a host of benefits. Set aside time on a daily basis to recollection moments of gratitude connected with commonplace events, your personal characteristics, or important people in your life. This allows you to weave gratitude into your normal, everyday life. This will help you move from trying to be grateful occasionally to becoming a grateful person.
Sarah Ban Breathnach once wrote: “Both abundance and lack of abundance exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend … when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.”
I am the Founder and President of Young Leaders Arena. Formerly I was the Chief Editor and program co-ordinator at Walktall. Author of the upcoming Book; Success Recipe: Start up Tool-kit for exceptional business growth. I have written numerous articles on both leadership, business start up, entrepreneurship. I have served as thought leader in many societies and organisations, including the Forum on Extractive Industries Transparency Initiative. I obtained my post graduate from the prestigious University of Port Harcourt. I also have a Bachelors from the Delta State University, Abraka. Twitter & Instagram: @Charlessholokwu