Relationships: Who You Are Is Who You Attract


Relationships: Who You Are Is Who You Attract

“If you think your people are negative, then you’d better check your attitude”. John C. Maxwell

I believe each of us carries around us a mental list of what kind of people we would like to have around us; in our organization or department, school, or our personal lives. What will determine whether the people you want are the people you get? Is your attitude. Yeah. Your attitude!

In a post on Huffington website, “Relationships: Why You Attract Who You Attract“; Margaret Paul, Ph.D. wrote: The law of attraction states that “like attracts like.” This means that people with a low frequency — people who are insecure and self-abandoning — attract each other, while people with a high frequency — people who love and value themselves — also attract each other. People who are positive, open, secure, giving, caring and kind to themselves and others are not attracted to people who are closed, negative and needy of approval and attention. While no one deliberately seeks out someone who is closed, negative and needy, if this is you, this is what you will attract into your life. If you want a loving relationship, then you need to do the work of learning how to take emotional responsibility.

“The life you live is a reflection of what’s going on inside of you.” Oprah

Maybe you’ve started thinking about the people that you have attracted in your life, organization or anywhere else. Most organizations reflect the characteristics of their leaders. Rarely have I seen positive and negative people attracted to one another. Have you? Maybe you have. Maybe you haven’t. I can tell you categorically that I have not. It is true that people who view life as a series of opportunities and exciting challenges don’t want to hear others talk about how bad things are all the time. Not only do people attract others with similar character or attitude, but their attitudes tend to become alike. Attitude is one of the most contagious qualities a human being possesses.

People are attracted to others whose values are similar to their own. In my earlier post, “Top 10 Business Advice for Every Young Entrepreneur”, I wrote about “Aligning your work with your values”. You can see it here if you haven’t. it doesn’t matter whether the shared values are positive or negative. Either way, the attraction is equally strong.

Naturally, nobody goes out looking for mediocre people to follow. People are attracted to talent and excellence, especially those with whom they know will impact their lives greatly. Businessmen also likes to hire someone with the kind of talent they are looking for or that they admire. I’ve met a lot of leaders who expect highly talented people to follow them, even though they neither possess nor express value for those people’s expertise. They know they could learn something from them.

How do the people you are currently attracting to your organization or to yourself look at you? Review your attitude towards them. How well do you align with them? Know that the way and manner in which they are attracted to you, is dependent on your attitude. Probably they do not feel comfortable around you. You need to reshape and re-align your behavior with them.

If you are already attracting the kinds of people you desire, then it’s time to take your leadership and personae to the next level. Create a favorable environment where they will be comfortable around you. Be a leader more than a boss and a friend more than an acquaintance.

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